My Oscar Weekend Prayer
alec vanderboom
Please, please don't let "Her" win for best picture. I can't get behind the tale of a man's infatuation with his computer being called an epic love story for the ages with out giggling.
Alcove
A Second Chance for Another Beloved Leo
alec vanderboom
Yesterday, I wrote about how sucky it was to pick out a cemetery headstone for my Leo. Today, I got to read about the wonderful in roads of the heart one of my prayer intentions made in his own life. Go Chicago Leo! You are the best!
A Hard Job
alec vanderboom
I picked out my baby's headstone yesterday.
It was such a weird moment. I sat in the funeral home parlor instead of their regular office. I had Abigail Clare asleep in my arms and 3 year old Tess next to me. Tess had packed three rings inside her winter Hello Kitty knit cap and kept accessorizing the horn of her Valentine's Day Unicorn with the rings. She decided the pink ring looked better on her pink unicorn than the green one.
I'm a normal Mom having this normal conversation with a member of the Funeral Home in my town, only there is nothing normal about this situation.
I didn't know how to design Leo's headstone. I have my son's name and his sex. Yet that's all I have. I felt flummoxed about the man's second question. "October 19, 2013, right?" "Oh, is that the date?" I wondered. I remembered Oct 7, 2013 as the date we found out that Leo had died and October 26, 2013 as the date that we buried him. The hospital stay was just sort of a blur in the middle of this situation.
Then I started wondering "How do you record Leo's life?" Do I put the gestational age? The standard birth date to death date formula doesn't work with a miscarriage. I went with the single date on his headstone because I didn't know what else to do in the moment.
So then we moved into the choice of clip art. I'm sure I over thought this. But I'm a Historian, and an Artist, and a grieving Mom. What else do I have left on my "to do list" for Leo? I wanted back-up. Three times in the past week, I've tried unsuccessfully to talk about the headstone etching with my commercial artist husband. Each time, my normal supportive spouse who enjoy the creative challenges of logo design and book covers for whatever pro bono project I normally unearth during my day, this time looked at me with shock and horror. "Why the hell do you want to throw this at me right now," his blue eyes seemed to say. His lips stumbled out "I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine with me."
I went into this meeting with a few ideas. A Catholic Cross. A butterfly. A Lego (my older kids decided that his nickname would have been "Lego" since it's so close to Leo.) Then I got the order book for 1,000 pre-selected images of clip art. The two butterfly pictures looked horrible. There were no Catholic crucifixes. Or Legos. Of course, I couldn't pay the cheap rate for a headstone and get the full range of awesome choices. All my pre-meeting brainstorming ideas went out the window.
So I sat there without my husband or my opinionated older kids and looked through this big batch of bad clip art. At first I was surprised. There were so many career options--does someone really want "surveyor" on their headstone? I skipped over the musical instrument choices because I have no idea if Leo was an electric guitar guy like his brother or an acoustic guitar guy like his Dad. I really started to feel emotional when I got to the motorcycle pictures. We never got to have that fight that he wasn't allowed to ride a moped at 15. Flipping through the clip art guide was a reminder how little I know about my son.
Then I got to the "baby" section. I can't even write about that one. Lots of sad images. I didn't cry at this point, but I could have.
Running out of energy, I skipped forward to the "Catholic" religious section. There were lots of badly drawn pictures of hearts pierced by thorns and homely pictures of Jesus looking really odd. Then there was one pretty picture of Mary, holding a baby on his back, like he was a newborn and she was being careful with his floppy neck, and her hands were praying. It floated up above all the other pictorial nonsense. I picked it up like a life-raft.
Then we came to the decision about the inscription. I couldn't decide on a Bible Verse. I hated the cliche about "Beloved". So I went with the simple "Our Son And Brother." When the funeral guy recorded my wishes he wrote out AND. I corrected him. "I want the & sign." What does that look like he said flustered. I took the contract from him and suddenly I couldn't picture the & in my head anymore. When I tried to draw it out I wrote down the Treble Clef Sign. My hands started shaking, so I gave it back to him. "I guess it's okay written out."
The funeral guy looked at my sad face and said "It doesn't matter does it?" I wanted to say, "Of course it matters!" It's a headstone. This inscription is literally going to be carved in granite. I should be able to communicate exactly how it looks in my mind. Yet I'm so helpless I can't even remember how to draw the & sign. Then, I give myself a break. I can always go home, look up the & sign on my computer, and correct it later. No need to push myself too hard in this moment.
I signed the contract. I paid my 10% down. I walked out holding the hands of my two little girls while the snowflakes started to fall.
I walked out of that meeting feeling like an inadequate failure. But my husband was happy when he heard about it at 6 PM last night. Leo will have a temporary marker that will appear in 7 to 10 days. We can go visit and see his name recorded in the earth. Somehow that will make it a little easier for everyone.
This morning when I woke up late, and there was a love note written on my kitchen table. "Thank you for all that you do to care for each of us, even Leo" my husband wrote. I really prefer the task of changing smelly diapers to picking out infant headstones, but I suppose it's all part of the same job of Motherhood.
It was such a weird moment. I sat in the funeral home parlor instead of their regular office. I had Abigail Clare asleep in my arms and 3 year old Tess next to me. Tess had packed three rings inside her winter Hello Kitty knit cap and kept accessorizing the horn of her Valentine's Day Unicorn with the rings. She decided the pink ring looked better on her pink unicorn than the green one.
I'm a normal Mom having this normal conversation with a member of the Funeral Home in my town, only there is nothing normal about this situation.
I didn't know how to design Leo's headstone. I have my son's name and his sex. Yet that's all I have. I felt flummoxed about the man's second question. "October 19, 2013, right?" "Oh, is that the date?" I wondered. I remembered Oct 7, 2013 as the date we found out that Leo had died and October 26, 2013 as the date that we buried him. The hospital stay was just sort of a blur in the middle of this situation.
Then I started wondering "How do you record Leo's life?" Do I put the gestational age? The standard birth date to death date formula doesn't work with a miscarriage. I went with the single date on his headstone because I didn't know what else to do in the moment.
So then we moved into the choice of clip art. I'm sure I over thought this. But I'm a Historian, and an Artist, and a grieving Mom. What else do I have left on my "to do list" for Leo? I wanted back-up. Three times in the past week, I've tried unsuccessfully to talk about the headstone etching with my commercial artist husband. Each time, my normal supportive spouse who enjoy the creative challenges of logo design and book covers for whatever pro bono project I normally unearth during my day, this time looked at me with shock and horror. "Why the hell do you want to throw this at me right now," his blue eyes seemed to say. His lips stumbled out "I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine with me."
I went into this meeting with a few ideas. A Catholic Cross. A butterfly. A Lego (my older kids decided that his nickname would have been "Lego" since it's so close to Leo.) Then I got the order book for 1,000 pre-selected images of clip art. The two butterfly pictures looked horrible. There were no Catholic crucifixes. Or Legos. Of course, I couldn't pay the cheap rate for a headstone and get the full range of awesome choices. All my pre-meeting brainstorming ideas went out the window.
So I sat there without my husband or my opinionated older kids and looked through this big batch of bad clip art. At first I was surprised. There were so many career options--does someone really want "surveyor" on their headstone? I skipped over the musical instrument choices because I have no idea if Leo was an electric guitar guy like his brother or an acoustic guitar guy like his Dad. I really started to feel emotional when I got to the motorcycle pictures. We never got to have that fight that he wasn't allowed to ride a moped at 15. Flipping through the clip art guide was a reminder how little I know about my son.
Then I got to the "baby" section. I can't even write about that one. Lots of sad images. I didn't cry at this point, but I could have.
Running out of energy, I skipped forward to the "Catholic" religious section. There were lots of badly drawn pictures of hearts pierced by thorns and homely pictures of Jesus looking really odd. Then there was one pretty picture of Mary, holding a baby on his back, like he was a newborn and she was being careful with his floppy neck, and her hands were praying. It floated up above all the other pictorial nonsense. I picked it up like a life-raft.
Then we came to the decision about the inscription. I couldn't decide on a Bible Verse. I hated the cliche about "Beloved". So I went with the simple "Our Son And Brother." When the funeral guy recorded my wishes he wrote out AND. I corrected him. "I want the & sign." What does that look like he said flustered. I took the contract from him and suddenly I couldn't picture the & in my head anymore. When I tried to draw it out I wrote down the Treble Clef Sign. My hands started shaking, so I gave it back to him. "I guess it's okay written out."
The funeral guy looked at my sad face and said "It doesn't matter does it?" I wanted to say, "Of course it matters!" It's a headstone. This inscription is literally going to be carved in granite. I should be able to communicate exactly how it looks in my mind. Yet I'm so helpless I can't even remember how to draw the & sign. Then, I give myself a break. I can always go home, look up the & sign on my computer, and correct it later. No need to push myself too hard in this moment.
I signed the contract. I paid my 10% down. I walked out holding the hands of my two little girls while the snowflakes started to fall.
I walked out of that meeting feeling like an inadequate failure. But my husband was happy when he heard about it at 6 PM last night. Leo will have a temporary marker that will appear in 7 to 10 days. We can go visit and see his name recorded in the earth. Somehow that will make it a little easier for everyone.
This morning when I woke up late, and there was a love note written on my kitchen table. "Thank you for all that you do to care for each of us, even Leo" my husband wrote. I really prefer the task of changing smelly diapers to picking out infant headstones, but I suppose it's all part of the same job of Motherhood.
We Are All Teachers Here!
alec vanderboom
I'm so over the debate about public/private/or homeschool. I have one parent who is the elected member of the School Board and another who is a professor of Education. I've held strong opinions about education reform since I was in the second grade.
My new view is "Who cares? We are all teachers here!" Every single adult has some contact with children in our lives. We're parents. We're aunts and uncles. We're Grandparents. We're Sunday School Teachers and random people waiting at the bus stop. We don't have to wait for some obscure bill to get passed. We are the change we seek.
Everyone single one of us has passions and interests. I'll call it affectionately "our inner geek." Teaching means taking a second to let a new initiate into the tribe. The tribe might be made up of bakers or chemists or obscure Winter Olympic Sports Athletes. Teaching is sharing our individual passion with another.
Teaching is simple. It's something we do innately every day. I think we Americans lose a lot when we think of change on some grand, operatic level. Micro-teaching reform is really cool.
I do my homeschooling on the cheap. My equipment is a pencil and a library card. A home computer and an internet connection help. (There are free computers and internet access at most public libraries.) I'm constantly amazed at how easy it is to tailor an individual educational plan without all those expensive packets and curriculums.
My micro-education reform of the week is "typing class." Here is a super easy and free typing program to set up for your family called Type Web. If you click under "Teacher" you can set up individual lessons for each of your family members. My kids love it. They earn online trophies for every lesson they complete. My husband is learning to switch over from the hunt-and-peck method at age 42. He and our kids have a friendly competition.
I love finding these little additions that make our life easier and more fun!
My new view is "Who cares? We are all teachers here!" Every single adult has some contact with children in our lives. We're parents. We're aunts and uncles. We're Grandparents. We're Sunday School Teachers and random people waiting at the bus stop. We don't have to wait for some obscure bill to get passed. We are the change we seek.
Everyone single one of us has passions and interests. I'll call it affectionately "our inner geek." Teaching means taking a second to let a new initiate into the tribe. The tribe might be made up of bakers or chemists or obscure Winter Olympic Sports Athletes. Teaching is sharing our individual passion with another.
Teaching is simple. It's something we do innately every day. I think we Americans lose a lot when we think of change on some grand, operatic level. Micro-teaching reform is really cool.
I do my homeschooling on the cheap. My equipment is a pencil and a library card. A home computer and an internet connection help. (There are free computers and internet access at most public libraries.) I'm constantly amazed at how easy it is to tailor an individual educational plan without all those expensive packets and curriculums.
My micro-education reform of the week is "typing class." Here is a super easy and free typing program to set up for your family called Type Web. If you click under "Teacher" you can set up individual lessons for each of your family members. My kids love it. They earn online trophies for every lesson they complete. My husband is learning to switch over from the hunt-and-peck method at age 42. He and our kids have a friendly competition.
I love finding these little additions that make our life easier and more fun!
We Will Fall Down A Lot!
alec vanderboom
I took my six year old daughter, Maria, to her first ice-skating lesson yesterday. Her instructor, Miss Emily, is such a gem. The first thing she said in the lesson was "Who is afraid of falling down on the ice? We're going to be falling down a lot when we learn how to skate. That's okay! The first thing we'll learn is how to get up for the ice after we fall down!" Then Miss Emily proceeded to show the group how to calmly and safely get up from the ice after a fall.
As a recovering perfectionist, I heard that lecture with wonder. It's expected to fall down! We will fall down a lot. The best way to learn how to skate isn't to worry about how to avoid falling, but to learn how to get up back up on our feet with the least amount of struggle and fuss.
What a lesson for my spiritual life! I shouldn't be so shocked when I sin. I'm imperfect. It's going to happen. Plus, God is constantly throwing me into harder and harder situations. Rather than stress about falling, I need to focus more on learning how to cheerfully get back up on the ice after a fall!
Thank you Mimi! Well worth the long road trip to take you to skating lessons yesterday! Go Team USA!
As a recovering perfectionist, I heard that lecture with wonder. It's expected to fall down! We will fall down a lot. The best way to learn how to skate isn't to worry about how to avoid falling, but to learn how to get up back up on our feet with the least amount of struggle and fuss.
What a lesson for my spiritual life! I shouldn't be so shocked when I sin. I'm imperfect. It's going to happen. Plus, God is constantly throwing me into harder and harder situations. Rather than stress about falling, I need to focus more on learning how to cheerfully get back up on the ice after a fall!
Thank you Mimi! Well worth the long road trip to take you to skating lessons yesterday! Go Team USA!
An Emotionally Strong Olympian
alec vanderboom
My husband came home yesterday and said he heard an uplifting story on NPR about our silver medalists in Women's Skeleton. (Skeleton is that event where a person jumps on a tiny sled and goes down the bobsled run head first at speeds of 80 miles per hour.) Noelle Pikus-Pace is a Mom of a six year old and two year old. She retired from the sport she dominated to spend more time with her family. Then she lost her third child in a miscarriage at 18 weeks. To help her deal with her sadness, her husband offered to take a leave of absence from work, and the whole family went to all her Skeleton Races so she could qualify for the 2014 Olympics. Her medal was a family celebration. Here is a video of the "Fastest Mom on Ice."
Note: While I was searching for articles on the internet I found this complaint that publically mentioning an athlete's miscarriage was discussing a "too personal problem" and detracted from the nature of her achievement in sport. Personally, I found the background information made her more of an inspiring role model to me. She's a physical hero and an emotional hero! I have to laugh with some recognition. This blog has frequently been criticized for talking about "too personal problems" in my life journey. Oh well.
Note: While I was searching for articles on the internet I found this complaint that publically mentioning an athlete's miscarriage was discussing a "too personal problem" and detracted from the nature of her achievement in sport. Personally, I found the background information made her more of an inspiring role model to me. She's a physical hero and an emotional hero! I have to laugh with some recognition. This blog has frequently been criticized for talking about "too personal problems" in my life journey. Oh well.
Ideas for A More Prayerful Lent
alec vanderboom
Lent starts on March 5. Don't let Ash Wednesday catch you by surprise. Prepare a little bit. Don't think of this as simply a dreary time before Easter. Think of it as a chance to grow in friendship with the Lord. It's a bit of a family reunion among us Christians, much deeper and more simple than preparing for Christmas.
Here are some ideas to kickstart a brain-storming session with God. (Remember Lent is all about doing what the Lord wants you to do, so check in with prayer before plan out your life for the next 6 weeks.)
If you've never tried praying the Divine Office before, try it now. Here is a link to a free site.
Put a time for Confession on the calendar.
If you've ever wondering about joining a Secular Order such as the Carmelites or Franciscians, attend a local meeting during Lent.
Attend a Silent Retreat! Every single woman and man deserves one of these each and every year! If this seems like a foreign concept to you, you need it even more than me! There are retreat houses to fit every budget. Seriously! We're talking $50 for an overnight stay at a monastery retreat house, or free if you'd just like to pick a quiet church and hang out in front of the Tabernacle for a a few hours. You deserve a break today! Schedule a special time for silence this Lent.
There are many blogs that urge more Spiritual Reading during Lent. I also suggest investing in a Spiritual Movie! I think movies are a great way to spring board discussion among the whole family. Buy a movie. Make popcorn. Host a little "film discussion" afterwards. Make this a family tradition each Lent. Ignatius Press has a ridiculous amount of great movies. Movies that I really like are St. Francis and St. Clare, A Man for All Seasons, and Beckett.
What about also investing in a music CD? Make up your own play list from I-Tunes. Or order something from your favorite Christian artist. Even picking a classical CD would be beautiful. Make a commitment to play some beautiful music often in your house this Lent. You can put it on as background music when you're praying, or when you're doing a task like cleaning.
Do you have enough candles in your home? I have small children, so candles are really exotic to me. I light them when the little girls are in bed. It's a visual sign of relaxation for me. I love to light candles before I start to pray.
Do you have a little prayer corner? There should be a little part of your house that is all set up for your prayers. I made a bookcase in my bedroom out of a window sill and a clip lamp. I have my prayer books there. The lamp makes it easy to read in the dark. I'm going to add some of my favorite prayer cards in a tiny bulletin board over Lent.
How is your rosary box? My toddler girls love to drag their children's rosaries all over the house. Lent is a good time to get those things organized in a cute little box.
Happy planning. Adding more prayer into your life this Lent can be both easy and beautiful!
Here are some ideas to kickstart a brain-storming session with God. (Remember Lent is all about doing what the Lord wants you to do, so check in with prayer before plan out your life for the next 6 weeks.)
If you've never tried praying the Divine Office before, try it now. Here is a link to a free site.
Put a time for Confession on the calendar.
If you've ever wondering about joining a Secular Order such as the Carmelites or Franciscians, attend a local meeting during Lent.
Attend a Silent Retreat! Every single woman and man deserves one of these each and every year! If this seems like a foreign concept to you, you need it even more than me! There are retreat houses to fit every budget. Seriously! We're talking $50 for an overnight stay at a monastery retreat house, or free if you'd just like to pick a quiet church and hang out in front of the Tabernacle for a a few hours. You deserve a break today! Schedule a special time for silence this Lent.
There are many blogs that urge more Spiritual Reading during Lent. I also suggest investing in a Spiritual Movie! I think movies are a great way to spring board discussion among the whole family. Buy a movie. Make popcorn. Host a little "film discussion" afterwards. Make this a family tradition each Lent. Ignatius Press has a ridiculous amount of great movies. Movies that I really like are St. Francis and St. Clare, A Man for All Seasons, and Beckett.
What about also investing in a music CD? Make up your own play list from I-Tunes. Or order something from your favorite Christian artist. Even picking a classical CD would be beautiful. Make a commitment to play some beautiful music often in your house this Lent. You can put it on as background music when you're praying, or when you're doing a task like cleaning.
Do you have enough candles in your home? I have small children, so candles are really exotic to me. I light them when the little girls are in bed. It's a visual sign of relaxation for me. I love to light candles before I start to pray.
Do you have a little prayer corner? There should be a little part of your house that is all set up for your prayers. I made a bookcase in my bedroom out of a window sill and a clip lamp. I have my prayer books there. The lamp makes it easy to read in the dark. I'm going to add some of my favorite prayer cards in a tiny bulletin board over Lent.
How is your rosary box? My toddler girls love to drag their children's rosaries all over the house. Lent is a good time to get those things organized in a cute little box.
Happy planning. Adding more prayer into your life this Lent can be both easy and beautiful!
Thursdays with Thoreau
alec vanderboom
(From Henry David Thoreau's essay "Economy" in his book Walden, first published in 1854).
"A man is not a good man to me because he will feed me if I should be starving, or warm me if I should be freezing, or pull me out of a ditch if I should ever fall into one. I can find you a Newfoundland dog that will do as much!"
I can't even describe why this quote moves me so much. It talks about the deepest essence of the heart. It reminds me not to fall into dreary "check a box" Christianity. I'm not a "good woman" because I cook a meal at the homeless shelter or donate lightly used winter coats to Goodwill. Thoreau could find a Newfoundland dog who could rescue stranded motorists during our recent Polar Vortex blizzard. Thoreau challenges me--don't be content to be a drooling dog. Press on! Go deeper in the interior life. Became a real human "be"-ing.
Thoreau, as a transcendentalist, is not a guy I could ever have an easy conversation with on matters of Faith. Sometimes he has these throw away lines in Walden where he says "not like that stupid Jesus Christ stuff!" I cringe and think, "Wait, I really believe in Jesus." But if I ignore the personal slights to the guy who I think actually most carried out both the transcendental idea of "God within us" and the virtue of poverty, I find a lot of common ground in Thoreau.
Thoreau is the only guy who writes about poverty in a way that makes sense to me. Even my bff St. Teresa of Avila and her buddy St. John of the Cross write about poverty that seems so far ahead of me, I can barely glimpse them. But Thoreau is my friend in the woods. He and I are taking the path "less traveled" as Mr. Robert Frost likes to put it. Even hermits need friends. Thank you, Mr. Thoreau, for being mine!
"A man is not a good man to me because he will feed me if I should be starving, or warm me if I should be freezing, or pull me out of a ditch if I should ever fall into one. I can find you a Newfoundland dog that will do as much!"
I can't even describe why this quote moves me so much. It talks about the deepest essence of the heart. It reminds me not to fall into dreary "check a box" Christianity. I'm not a "good woman" because I cook a meal at the homeless shelter or donate lightly used winter coats to Goodwill. Thoreau could find a Newfoundland dog who could rescue stranded motorists during our recent Polar Vortex blizzard. Thoreau challenges me--don't be content to be a drooling dog. Press on! Go deeper in the interior life. Became a real human "be"-ing.
Thoreau, as a transcendentalist, is not a guy I could ever have an easy conversation with on matters of Faith. Sometimes he has these throw away lines in Walden where he says "not like that stupid Jesus Christ stuff!" I cringe and think, "Wait, I really believe in Jesus." But if I ignore the personal slights to the guy who I think actually most carried out both the transcendental idea of "God within us" and the virtue of poverty, I find a lot of common ground in Thoreau.
Thoreau is the only guy who writes about poverty in a way that makes sense to me. Even my bff St. Teresa of Avila and her buddy St. John of the Cross write about poverty that seems so far ahead of me, I can barely glimpse them. But Thoreau is my friend in the woods. He and I are taking the path "less traveled" as Mr. Robert Frost likes to put it. Even hermits need friends. Thank you, Mr. Thoreau, for being mine!
The MovieGoer & Must See TV
alec vanderboom
Please take 90 minutes this week and watch Sherlock, The Last Vow, Season 3/ Episode 3. It's free to watch on PBS.com. It's available until 3/4. I actually found the PBS website a little hard to navigate (hire my graphic designer husband for a decluttering session PBS!) so here is a direct link.
If you're a purest, you can watch all of Session 3 in order on PBS. Yet if you've never seen the BBC series, this episode also stands on its own.
Honestly, this one episode has it all. Excellent premise. Superb execution. (The joy the minor characters have in saying their lines almost overshadows the acting of the primary characters). Incredible plot twists. Over the top awesome film elements. There is one part, that I can't talk about for being a spoiler, but I've seriously never seen film portray a character's interior monologue that well--ever! Oh, and the unexpected love scene stuck in the middle! Pitch perfect! I think I'll still be quoting John Watson's description of marital love to my own husband when I'm 83.
A movie I adored watching over Valetine's Day weekend was Austenland. If you like watching Downton Abbey. If you've loved reading an Austin novel, this is a movie for you. I rented it out of our local Redbox for $1.25. This was a fresh romantic comedy that my husband loved as much as me. It really poked fun at itself. A great comedy, that for me- a bookish girl historian--made me laugh outloud in self-recognition.
As for books, I'm really impressed with the Divergent series. A new movie is coming out in March. If you enjoyed reading the Hunger Games, go check it out. I'm not a Sci-Fi or Fantasy genre reader at all. Yet I found author Veronica Roth's Divergent book a fascinating read. (Divergent is her first book!)
The big take away message for me, was this writer talked about the virtue of Courage, in a unique way. I'm used to thinking about Courage in a very physical, masculine way. (Such as the brave 300 Greek warriors defending a thin mountain pass in the Battle of Thermopylae). As a Catholic, when I hear St. Paul talk about courage, this is the type of courage I think about--the courage of the red martyr. In contrast, this book made me better appreciate the Catholic concept of "white martyrdom." This is still a slippery concept to me. I'd describe this concept in more secular language as "the bravery of emotional honesty in the face of intense opposition."
In her book Divergent, Roth really describes the emotional courage we need as artists. She nicknames us "Dauntless." I left her book thinking that the courage we need to be Creatives--to stick out necks out, to solve problems, to make art, to be true to the small inner whisper of direction inside ourselves-- is a great gift we give to the whole world. I closed the cover of that book more determined to be myself.
Tomorrow, I'm starting a "Thursday with Thoreau" series. I'm rereading Walden. I can't believe how practical his ideas are to me. I want to share them with you gentle readers.
If you're a purest, you can watch all of Session 3 in order on PBS. Yet if you've never seen the BBC series, this episode also stands on its own.
Honestly, this one episode has it all. Excellent premise. Superb execution. (The joy the minor characters have in saying their lines almost overshadows the acting of the primary characters). Incredible plot twists. Over the top awesome film elements. There is one part, that I can't talk about for being a spoiler, but I've seriously never seen film portray a character's interior monologue that well--ever! Oh, and the unexpected love scene stuck in the middle! Pitch perfect! I think I'll still be quoting John Watson's description of marital love to my own husband when I'm 83.
A movie I adored watching over Valetine's Day weekend was Austenland. If you like watching Downton Abbey. If you've loved reading an Austin novel, this is a movie for you. I rented it out of our local Redbox for $1.25. This was a fresh romantic comedy that my husband loved as much as me. It really poked fun at itself. A great comedy, that for me- a bookish girl historian--made me laugh outloud in self-recognition.
As for books, I'm really impressed with the Divergent series. A new movie is coming out in March. If you enjoyed reading the Hunger Games, go check it out. I'm not a Sci-Fi or Fantasy genre reader at all. Yet I found author Veronica Roth's Divergent book a fascinating read. (Divergent is her first book!)
The big take away message for me, was this writer talked about the virtue of Courage, in a unique way. I'm used to thinking about Courage in a very physical, masculine way. (Such as the brave 300 Greek warriors defending a thin mountain pass in the Battle of Thermopylae). As a Catholic, when I hear St. Paul talk about courage, this is the type of courage I think about--the courage of the red martyr. In contrast, this book made me better appreciate the Catholic concept of "white martyrdom." This is still a slippery concept to me. I'd describe this concept in more secular language as "the bravery of emotional honesty in the face of intense opposition."
In her book Divergent, Roth really describes the emotional courage we need as artists. She nicknames us "Dauntless." I left her book thinking that the courage we need to be Creatives--to stick out necks out, to solve problems, to make art, to be true to the small inner whisper of direction inside ourselves-- is a great gift we give to the whole world. I closed the cover of that book more determined to be myself.
Tomorrow, I'm starting a "Thursday with Thoreau" series. I'm rereading Walden. I can't believe how practical his ideas are to me. I want to share them with you gentle readers.
Happy St. Valentine's Day From Pope Francis
alec vanderboom
In the past, I've been a little embarrassed that I was a converted Catholic who still adored celebrating St. Valentine's Day. St. Valentine has been dropped from our official saint's day calendar. Now we celebrate the Saints Cyril and Methodius today instead.
I've been to many Daily Mass homily's where the priest exhorts "today is a real saint's day, not that made up stuff!" Which is true, but not exactly a poetic match for my romantic heart.
Along comes Pope Francis and makes me feel all normal again! Today is St. Valentine's Day. The Pope gave marriage advice to thousands of engaged couples at the Vatican today. His advice rocks. "Living together is an art. It's a patient art, it's a beautiful art, it's fascinating," Pope Francis replied. Marriage is so beautiful!
Fourteen years ago my husband got his first kiss from me. Today I'm celebrating love!
I've been to many Daily Mass homily's where the priest exhorts "today is a real saint's day, not that made up stuff!" Which is true, but not exactly a poetic match for my romantic heart.
Along comes Pope Francis and makes me feel all normal again! Today is St. Valentine's Day. The Pope gave marriage advice to thousands of engaged couples at the Vatican today. His advice rocks. "Living together is an art. It's a patient art, it's a beautiful art, it's fascinating," Pope Francis replied. Marriage is so beautiful!
Fourteen years ago my husband got his first kiss from me. Today I'm celebrating love!
More Snow than Sochi!
alec vanderboom
My mountain town north of Washington DC got 18 inches of snow overnight. It's still snowing. I haven't seen this much snow since I was a little girl in Upstate New York.
All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting Book Review
alec vanderboom
Just finished reading this book review in my Sunday Washington Post.
Seriously?
Parenting is described as no fun?
I hate to be the girl who talks about sex on a Sunday morning, but this author's smug attitude sort of reminded me of a time when a relatively unknown Mom at my kid's sporting event recounted her busy schedule and then said "and sex is just another chore."
She rolled her eyes and assumed I was automatically going to agree with her!
I stayed silent at the time out of insecurity and shyness. Yet what I wanted to say outloud is "Lady, if sex is just another chore in your life, then there's something wrong!"
If the bleachers in the gym were filled with my friends, instead other random strangers, I'd be backed up in this notion that if marriage and good sex aren't easily linking up together, than something is off. One of my Catholic blogger friends would say "Check your Thyroid." Another would say "Did you know that medical doctors didn't fully map out the nerve endings of the female clitoris until 8 years ago? No wonder everyone is so clueless about female sexuality!" There'd be ideas about screening for post-partum depression, or understanding words about the painfulness of newborn colic.
The point is that we Catholics are empathic, but we're not complacent! Good sex and marriage go together. We hot women were made for love--and that includes sex when we get married. Why settle for all the work of a demanding vocation and so little of the rewards?
That's sort of how I feel about this book review. Confused.
To me, having fun and hanging out with kids easily go together. It's like the paring of milk and cookies. It's a truism to say "Parenting isn't always fun." Duh! Morning sickness, teething and teenage mood drama. Yet here an author makes a declarative statement. There is "NO fun in parenting." She expects us all to agree.
I'm not.
If you're not having any fun while raising your children, I'm sorry, but you're doing it wrong.
Having fun together is an inherent part of the job description of Motherhood.
Seriously?
Parenting is described as no fun?
I hate to be the girl who talks about sex on a Sunday morning, but this author's smug attitude sort of reminded me of a time when a relatively unknown Mom at my kid's sporting event recounted her busy schedule and then said "and sex is just another chore."
She rolled her eyes and assumed I was automatically going to agree with her!
I stayed silent at the time out of insecurity and shyness. Yet what I wanted to say outloud is "Lady, if sex is just another chore in your life, then there's something wrong!"
If the bleachers in the gym were filled with my friends, instead other random strangers, I'd be backed up in this notion that if marriage and good sex aren't easily linking up together, than something is off. One of my Catholic blogger friends would say "Check your Thyroid." Another would say "Did you know that medical doctors didn't fully map out the nerve endings of the female clitoris until 8 years ago? No wonder everyone is so clueless about female sexuality!" There'd be ideas about screening for post-partum depression, or understanding words about the painfulness of newborn colic.
The point is that we Catholics are empathic, but we're not complacent! Good sex and marriage go together. We hot women were made for love--and that includes sex when we get married. Why settle for all the work of a demanding vocation and so little of the rewards?
That's sort of how I feel about this book review. Confused.
To me, having fun and hanging out with kids easily go together. It's like the paring of milk and cookies. It's a truism to say "Parenting isn't always fun." Duh! Morning sickness, teething and teenage mood drama. Yet here an author makes a declarative statement. There is "NO fun in parenting." She expects us all to agree.
I'm not.
If you're not having any fun while raising your children, I'm sorry, but you're doing it wrong.
Having fun together is an inherent part of the job description of Motherhood.
Watching my kid pick her nose while standing next to our serene picture of the Virgin Mary (in a place on top of a chair where she's not supposed to be) is funny! Holiness and funny going together.
Discovering a new passion for Photography! Thank you reader!
Celebrating putting 650 pieces of Optimus Prime together!
Goofing off with Mom!
A Shout Out From My Uncle Paul
alec vanderboom
"If I were trying to win man’s approval, I would surely not be serving Christ!"
(Galatians 1:11, From Today's Morning Prayer Reading)
St. Paul is from the same Jewish family tree as my husband--The Benjamin Clan. I tell my kids, "Whenever you read a Letter from St. Paul, don't think of him as some dusty guy from ancient Palestine. He's our relative. His advice is always fresh and current. Read his words like they are an email from a beloved uncle!"
I personally struggle with what I've nicknamed my "St. Peter denial of Christ problem." I know the right action deep in my heart, but I struggle with continuing that right action against negative peer pressure. It's sort of the Achilles heel of my sanguine temperament.
St. Paul did NOT have that trouble. I'm thinking of adopting his words as a mantra the next time I face social pressure. I say it with good humor, like a funny inside joke. "Duh, Abigail! If you're trying to be popular, you would so NOT choose to be a servant of Christ. Social shaming comes with the territory!"
Happy Sunday!
(Galatians 1:11, From Today's Morning Prayer Reading)
St. Paul is from the same Jewish family tree as my husband--The Benjamin Clan. I tell my kids, "Whenever you read a Letter from St. Paul, don't think of him as some dusty guy from ancient Palestine. He's our relative. His advice is always fresh and current. Read his words like they are an email from a beloved uncle!"
I personally struggle with what I've nicknamed my "St. Peter denial of Christ problem." I know the right action deep in my heart, but I struggle with continuing that right action against negative peer pressure. It's sort of the Achilles heel of my sanguine temperament.
St. Paul did NOT have that trouble. I'm thinking of adopting his words as a mantra the next time I face social pressure. I say it with good humor, like a funny inside joke. "Duh, Abigail! If you're trying to be popular, you would so NOT choose to be a servant of Christ. Social shaming comes with the territory!"
Happy Sunday!
Miracles Happen!
alec vanderboom
Wow! Can't believe that little Wisconsin baby was found alive in the middle of winter. I prayed for that news story with my heart in my throat.
Apple - iPad Air - TV Ad - Your Verse
alec vanderboom
Dead Poets Society - Mr. Keating's Walt Whitman Speech
alec vanderboom
Priorities
alec vanderboom
At first, I worried that spending time and money on a living room remodel was "too selfish." No worries now!
Bring Your Daughters To Work Day!
alec vanderboom
My New Job
alec vanderboom
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Blogger Meet-Up
alec vanderboom
After months of talking to the delightful Rebecca Frech on the phone, I got to meet her in person last weekend. Please say a prayer for her dear daughter tonight.