My Dining Room

This is my dining room. Sign from the Pro-Life march in the window and stacks of winter stuff in the corner. (No front hall closet. I don't know what they did for a mudroom back in 1950--put there stuff on one coat rack?) (Oh the table is set for Easter Dinner. We don't eat on china every night)

Mini-Fridge

The milk and butter side. I usually buy 3 or 41/2 gallon Organic Milk cartoons per shopping trip. We're now down to 2.

Inside the Mini-Fridge

There's just not that much food in there. I went shopping Sunday. I've got meat for meatloaf. We're doing vegetarian for two nights this week. I've got bacon for Saturday morning. Friday we'll do a quiche or Pizza.I have to pick up my frozen pizza "fresh" from the store since we don't have the freezer space to store it. That's a blessing though. I only do frozen pizza on Pizza night and not "Ugh, the baby's teething and I'm to tired to cook" on regular weeknights. Less temptation to "cheat" for a lazy cook like me is a good thing!

There's sour cream for that lemon poppy seed cake I like to make and for tacos. There's Strawberry yogert for the baby.  I'd like to point out that having a real artist as a father, means that my limited fridge space is usually housing some kind of unfinished modeling clay project from one of my kids. Something vital is in that play-dough container from either Maria or Alex.

I like to pray for our priests while I'm cooking

 

Photos of the Mini Fridge

(for reader S.)
 

How to Live Gracefully As a Large Family In A Small House

(in response to a reader's email)

One mental hurdle I had to overcome was this belief "each kid should have their own bedroom." My parents had three kids in a house with four bedrooms. Each kid had their own room and decorated it in their own way and went to bed at different times. My husband's family lived in a home with six bedrooms for a family of five. In their family everyone got their own room, Dad had an office, and they had an open guest room.

We lived in two bedroom apartments while our kids were small. My first two kids were a boy and a girl born 18 months apart. I nurse, so I usually keep the baby in my room for the first 8 months. Then I put them in the same room--one in a toddler bed and one in a crib. They were both great sleepers.  We easily saved $800 to $1,000 by having a 2 bedroom apartment instead of a 3 bedroom apartment while we lived closer to Washington D.C.

My first headache happened when we added a third daughter, Maria to the mix. Maria was my darling who could not sleep. She had infant reflux. It messed up her sleeping schedule as an infant and she never got it back. When she was three years old, she would still wake up in full screaming crying mode four to five times a night. It was awful.

So the deal was --no one wanted to sleep with Maria. We wanted her out of our room, but she was too light a sleeper to put with the other kids. At one point, we left her crib in our room and then we moved our bed into the living room. (If you can picture, we had 3 rooms. One bedroom, one common room, and a second bedroom all in a line) I lived with my bed hanging out in my living room for a couple of weeks during the "transition."

Eventually, we moved her crib into her siblings room around 15 months. The two older siblings left their room and slept in our room. Every night. It got to point where we made up two trundle beds and hid them our low IKEA bed during the day. Then at night, we put everyone to bed in the "kid room." By 1 AM, after multiple wake-up from Maria, both kids would be sleeping in their "second" bed in our room. Finally she settled down and learned how to sleep better through the night. The kid room because a true "kids room" and the parent room was solely for us again.

So in that 2 bedroom apartment--we slept as a family of six. I had my mini IKEA bed and a small white crib for Tess in the smallest bedroom. We gave the kids the larger master bedroom. We got two of those extending toddler/single size beds from IKEA. I put them on the "middle" size for a 6 and an 8 year old. Maria slept in her crib that was converted into a day bed.

The kids had one large walk-in closet for toys. Then they had toy bins under their bed.

Because we were in the smaller bedroom, every single thing that had any value went into a small closet that was about 3 by 4 feet. My husband just stacked everything up in boxes. We had one dresser for all of us. (I kept it in our room because I got tired of toddlers yanking all their clothes on the floor in their room.)

The City apartment was a bit of a transition for us because we had some money --but we didn't have space or a car. It's crazy. When you live on the bus, there is so much stuff that you can't take home. You can't carry giant juice boxes trays and chips to the park, because you can't carry them easily in your car trunk. On the bus, everything has to fit in a thin backpack. So I think that was a real time of transition for us. We drink water from a water bottle at the park, because that is "doable." We gave away almost all the clothes rather than storing them in boxes for younger siblings, because I didn't have extra storage space to house things I "might need" in two years.

Living in a small space means you're "in the moment." What do I need today. What might be sort of useful in six months--like sleeping bags for camping in the summer, but you can't save stuff that "might be useful" or "looks pretty" or "was a nice gift." Storage is a premium. Stuff has to earn a spot. If it isn't useful to someone in the family, then it gets donated to Good will.

Sometimes its hard. My husband found a great set of golf clubs for free when another renter moved out. We had no place to put them. They were stored in the kitchen pantry, which made me miserable when our son was 4. He loved them. He'd find them wherever they were hidden, slip them out when I wasn't looking and start to whack things. The golf clubs were like an irresistible draw. After a year of saving my husband's clubs and shifting them around our tiny apartment, I finally told my husband "we can't keep them. This is something that belongs in a garage not a home. " Just the other day, my husband was lamenting his lost golf clubs--but you know, in that moment as a wife, I totally trusted God. We ditched the golf clubs at least three years ago. Now that he's finally in a place to use them (and we have a proper basement to store them) I know that God will hand them back.

I think managing feelings about "lost items" are part of being a mother. You make judgement calls about what is critical to a family and what is not. Sometimes people are going to be sad about things that got left behind. I'm sad about some stuff that we "lost" during our moves too. I think because I'm force to deal with it more often, I'm more comfortable with "losing possessions." I'd never trade the freedom from excess stuff for the momentary comfort of knowing that a good winter infant coat is stored in the basement for the new baby.

Currently, I have 7 people in 3 bedrooms. Hannah, Maria, Tess and Abigail have the large Master Bedroom. I painted it pink. Alex has a bunk bed in his room and the family's computer. Jon and I sleep downstairs in a small bedroom on the main floor. Currently we are without any cribs or trundle beds in our room. (Yeah!)

Abigail is a light, troubled sleeper like her older sister Maria. On a good night, she's up 2 times a night. On a bad night 4 or 5 times. I was so frustrated that for her birthday in late March, I broke down and bought a $50 play pen. It's in our dining room. She goes to sleep upstairs with the girls and night and takes naps in her crib. On nights that she won't settle, I'll move her downstairs in the play pen, so that her fussiness won't wake up Tess and Maria. Then it's really funny. I'll wake up at 5:00 AM with my husband and sneak her back upstairs into her crib while she's still sleeping--so my commuter husband doesn't wake up the baby while he's eating breakfast and leaving for work.

It's musical chairs, in a little house. But you know, it's lovely. I'd so rather have an "extra" crib in my pink dining room rather than limit my family size based on the number of bedrooms in my house. No matter how many times they wake up in the middle of the night, new babies are great!


*****
Note: Our little house has some "room to grow". We have a basement that someday could be finished and made into a nice room for my son. If that happens, I could have a "little girl" room for the new baby and toddlers, and a "big girl room" for the daughters that actually want to sleep the entire night. I think having that unfinished basement that's not being used helps me stay patient and flexible during this period. The musical cribs for the baby is just for a season, not forever.

My Favorite Recent Cooking Moment

My five year old is a baker. She found this cupcake book by the Primrose Bakery in London at our local library. The directions seemed crazy hard to me. We made Earl Grey Tea cupcakes and Lemon Cupcakes (with Peeps on top) for Easter dinner. About five minutes before this picture was taken I was whipping up two flavors of home made frosting saying "This is not worth it!" But then the cupcakes came out of the oven and they tasted divine.  Here is me giving a victory kiss to Mimi.

Thoughts about Poverty and Food Hoarding

Read Part One Here: A Shocking Confession--I only use a mini-fridge to feed seven people.

Here are some more random thoughts I came up with this morning.

Switching to a mini-fridge in an example of the hidden blessing of involuntary poverty. I did not do this switch as a well thought out "plan" to improve my family's eating habits.We bought the house that was "cute and cheap." We did not buy the one the home with a turn-key ready kitchen filled with gleaming stainless steel appliances. I certainly saw pictures of "perfect for us" kitchens on our realtor's website. Yet my grounded husband was right there at my elbow saying "those houses are not in our price range!"

Here's where I give poverty its due. If we had a little more money to spend in mortgage payments, I could have easily convinced my husband that I "needed" a house with a nice kitchen. I cook. Daily. For lots of people. I think I could have easily convinced both him and myself that a kitchen with a nice stove, a nice fridge, and proper counter space was a "need" and not a "want" for our family.

We're crunchy people. We live in an area with actual farms and are part of the "buy local", and "farm to table" movement. Never, ever had I heard about or read anyone talking about "less refrigerator space for a large family is beneficial." In fact, I heard the opposite. Large families need "bigger" refrigerator space and an extra freezer in their basement.

I've got a grocery budget that lower than average. When I grocery shopped before, I did so in with a poor mindset. I looked for what was on sale in the meat department. I bought as much as I could at a cheap price. I gleefully pulled out my "extra" 5 week old frozen pork chops whenever we had a lean money month. I patted myself on the back for my thrift and my resourcefulness. "Look what a great homemaker I am. I feeding us well with less."

I constantly felt this pressure to make our meals "normal" while having far less money than my friends and my family.

Now that I'm pushed into this weird anti-cultural constraint, "I've got the fridge space of a college student living in a dorm room but I've got an adult nurtritional mindset and 5 young growing bodies to feed" it a juicy design challenge. It's a problem. But it's a healthy problem. It's sort of an invigorating "what are me and God going to do today" sort of thing.

The small fridge got me over hoarding. I can not food "hoard." Food hoarding was how I dealt with the anxiety that we live with very little left over pay check to pay check--and it also contributed to our poverty. I could not buy enough "frozen meat" on sale to make up for my guilt about not working while having high student loan debt. I had to deal with that anxiety that I wasn't a good wife because my husband wasn't smothering a steak with A 1 steak sauce every Friday night like my father did during my childhood.

My kids don't eat the way I did as a child--but thank goodness!

I prefer to live in the moment with our diet. We shop. We cook. We eat. We repeat the process. I'm not the perfect French chef who shops every three days for fresh meal ingredients from the Farmers Market--but I'm a better than I used to be. I like how God guides us to make better choices with constraints and fasting.

A Shocking Confession

Y'll want to know something crazy?

I feed a family of seven out of a mini-fridge. One mini-fridge. You remember the kind we had in college. I don't even have the one with the serious freezer. We've got the common one with the narrow 4 inch freezer unit on the top shelf. Inside, we can fit either 2 ice cube trays inside or a few packages of frozen peas. Not both.

It is crazy. It is fun!

So when we moved into this house, we came into ownership of the world's largest fridge. It was huge. It was old, a tired stained ivory, but it was the fridge of my elementary school dreams--side by side freezer/ fridge. It had a water dispenser in the door. It had an ice-cube maker. (The last two items weren't hooked up, but they looked nice anyway).

My house is tiny. 850 square feet. Its vintage 1950. Its the house that our grandmothers lived in. Dude, our grandmothers baked three meals a day, everyday, in a small kitchen!

So this mammoth fridge took up my entire kitchen! I had one piece of shelf space at the kitchen sink--cluttered with overhead cabinets and half hidden by a protruding stove. I had one spot to mix up cupcake batter right over the dishwasher.

There was no kitchen table. No center island. No space for a baking rack or pot holder. Nothing.

The mammoth fridge never got filled up. It would be depressing. We'd go grocery shopping. Come home laden with bags. Then we put it away. The fridge swallowed up our food. It looked bare and depressing--always.

Last summer we lost the electricity for 8 days during a freak thunderstorm. We lost all of our food. Every half opened can of mayonnaise. Everything.

A funny thing happened while we waited for the overworked electricians to get the lines to our home fixed. We learned how easy it is to live without refrigeration. We Americans are crazy. We like to chill everything.

My husband and I were forced to do actual "food research." We had to figure out what stuff is safe to leave out, what stuff needed to be chilled. Surprising, the answer is "not that much." I learned that as long as I use up all my food within a few days, I don't have to "chill" eggs, or strawberries, or cheese.

When the power came back on, we kept our "not over using the fridge ways" and then a radical thing happened. We gave up our fridge. My husband put it on freecycle. Another family of seven picked it up. (I thought that was so ironic. They lady said "I need a second fridge because I have five children." I laughed and said "I have to get rid of my giant fridge because I have 5 kids. I need more space in my kitchen!)

The swap out was only supposed to be short term. Our kitchen has three doorways close together in three walls. (a back door, a dining room entrance, and a hall entrance). If I wanted an "eat in kitchen" the only space for a fridge is super narrow. I couldn't get a standard cheap fridge for $300. I have to get one of those special order, super skinny fridges they make for apartments in New York City. The cheapest one of those I found was for $1,000. (Curiously skinny fridges are not common to find used in rural West Virginia. Bigger is always better for food storage in the countryside).

So we gave up our fridge in September--expecting that we'd get a new fridge shortly--but you know, the grand plans for saving money as a family of seven rarely go as easily as expected. So here we in April--no money for a new fridge on the horizon--but I've got to say. I don't care anymore!

I love my mini-fridge.

I love it!

It is perfect for a big family. It's sort of a game to figure out how to position all the butter, diary, meat, and open condiment jars in a tight space. No kid, can sneak food out with me hearing a distinct "clunk" when a loose butter package hits the floor. "Stay out of the fridge. Lunch is in 20 minutes" I can yell from any part of the house. Being on such a tight space constraint actually means that we waste less food and appreciate our meal times more. Less is more.

I had to adjust my grocery shopping slightly. I can't fit those huge gallon plastic milk jugs in my fridge. I buy the 1/2 gallon milk in paper containers. It costs more, but then we easily switched up to Organic Milk. Now I'm more careful about our milk use. We buy 3 1/2 gallons each week. Usually I run out within 4 days. However, that's an easy shopping trip.

We gave up ice cubes and ice cream. No freezer space. We used to eat a lot of ice cream. Its crazy because that was an easy "go to dessert." Now I have to work a little more and my family is happier. I'm hoping to get into "ice-cream from scratch" and then life will be perfect. Ice-cream as a special treat at special times--instead of a daily treat. I read some stuff online that complained the old fashioned crank ice-cream makers were so time consuming "20 minutes" I started to laugh. I have 5 kids. 4 that are old enough to easily crank ice cream. What is that? 5 minutes per kid? No problem!

It's cool to be little and a little counter-cultural.

The fridge  is an awesome. invention Electricity is awesome. I like my milk and sour cream safe and chill. But I don't want to be lazy and live off of frozen vegetables and easy ice-cream every night. I like my veggies fresh and my desserts varied.

I know we are saving money on our electricity bill. My mini-fridge costs $40 to chill for an entire year! That's money I'd rather spend heating my house in winter and running my little window air-conditioning units with in the summer.

The mini-fridge. An adventure in the "middle way."

How to Start A Blog

If you read more than 30 blogs on a regular basis, you need to start your own blog! It doesn't have to be great. You don't have to have anything profound to say. Just start a blog! It's free. It's easy. We bloggers can't really "meet" you until you have your own blog, even if we love all of your wonderful comments.

Here are some tips to get started.

1. Blogs are free. I use Blogger. Wordpress is also great. A good host will walk you through all the step easily. You don't have to be a "techie" to start a blog.

2. Don't get hung up on an awesome title. Name your blog something simple. Get started. If you come up with a more awesome title later, change it. Your readers will follow you.

3. Privacy. Pray about privacy issues with Jesus and chat about them with your spouse before starting your blog. My blog is all "out there." I use my real name and my kids real names. Some blogger friends use their real name and then have greater privacy for their kids. Shoved to Them refers to her kids by their position in her family, so her posts refer to kid #1, or kid #8. Minnesota Mom gives special blog nicknames to her children.  You can also be totally Anonymous. You can use a nom de plume and not post any pictures of spouses, kids, or pets on your site.

4. How to write posts. Go simple at first. Write about your day. Write about your favorite blog to read and why. Find a meme that you want to finish. Then go juicy. It's writing, go bleed a little. Tell us about your cross. It can be infertility, a NICU stay, the stress of being single while hoping to find a spouse. Whatever little piece of heartache that feels unique to you--that is a something universal that everyone wants to hear more about.  You best friend gets bored when you talk about the stress of the NICU yet again, but the internet never does. Go be real and find your people!

5. Be calm about having no audience. For a long time. If you feel super lonely about having no one read your blog, go send me a link in my email. It is better to have no audience than to pass your infancy blog around to many people who might be the wrong "audience."

6. Writing is good when it is authentic. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be interesting. It does have to be real.

7. The blog is there to serve your life. Your life doesn't serve your blog. It is totally okay to take long breaks from blogging. You do not have to post every day. You don't have to have a "plan" or a theme. Just let the blog hang out there, awkwardly, and catch whatever pieces you throw at it.

8. When you outgrow your blog, its time to write a book. You know readers know which ones I am talking about! You don't have to write a long book. A book can be a lovely 30 to 45 pages. If you've established your writing voice, if you have your story, if you have hungry readers who want to know more, then its time to "graduate" from a blog to a book. Don't let the success of your blog limit you. Don't tell yourself "I'm just a blogger." Say "I'm a writer." Because you are!

Happy Blogging!

Prayer Request

Jennifer F. from Conversion Diary is in the process of getting induced right this very moment. She's got some complications with this pregnancy. Can you please say a prayer for her?

Yeah! Jennifer announced via Twitter that the baby is here! Please pray that she keeps free from complications and gets some much needed rest.

Easter Vigil

Toddler with open flame. A way to inspire Vigilance in her parents at Easter Vigil!

Easter Vigil

 

Easter Vigil

 

Happy Easter Vigil

 

Controversal Flowers

These are the flowers that I bought for $3 at Walmart during one thin grocery budget week. They lasted a full 5 weeks in perfect bloom on my kitchen window sill. I was so excited about this "miracle", but then Jon reminded me kitchen was that very cold. I guess living inside a refridgerator is a great thing for cut flowers!

My Jon

Over Lent, Jon got this super fancy Design Award. So I celebrated by getting his one good interview suit cleaned before the Award Ceremony from  baby spit up---from Baby Hannah! That stain was from her Baptism 10 years ago. Note to self,  dry cleaning only costs $12 and should not remain forever on the "things we'll get to next payday." Oh, that is a long list at our house, LOL!

The Hunks that Redid My Bathroom

 

Living on the Computer Like there Mommy!

 

My view every morning

This is the pair that greet me every morning to let me know that my quiet prayer and blog reading time is over now. Time to feed us oatmeal! It's a nice sight.